The Romulan's Big Mistake
by RUGoing2writethat
Summary: The Romulans send spies to infiltrate the Academy. They kidnap the Federation's Most important citizen. They then learn this was a big mistake. Terrifying Picard. Admiral Nechayev is the main character; she's not listed so I put her as an OC. CRACK FIC!


**The Romulan's BIG Mistake –**

 **This is a a crack fic for Star Trek, an idea I came up with while watching through Star Trek TNG and Voyager. Remember, it is just for fun so don't take it seriously.**

The Romulans thought they were clever. They thought they had made a very bold and daring move against the Federation that would bring them to their knees. They were wrong. They made a big mistake.

They sent spies to infiltrate Starfleet Academy, acting like Vulcans. It was easy really. All they had to do was act sanctimonious and pompous and always look like something that smelled badly personally offended their nostrils. Surprisingly, this actually worked. It fooled even the Vulcans. They got quite a bit of technical information by attending the academy classes.

Finally, they had found the information they needed and enacted their plan. They were going to kidnap the most important person in all of Starfleet and the Federation and hold him hostage.

That was their huge mistake. As soon as they had seized this person, he activated his personal distress beacon, alerting the Academy that he was being kidnapped. It was made for a class project by B'Lanna Torres, and given to him as a going away gift. It was quite brilliant. It had a simple message, "Help" and his name, repeated over and over and over. When he was brought aboard the Romulan ship, the beacon uploaded a virus into the ship's system that would broadcast the message without the crew being aware, as well as the coordinates of the ship every half hour.

When they first got the alert, Admiral Nechayev was shocked. Then she became enraged. The Romulans!? How dare they!? She opened a com. She sent out a message to every Starfleet and Federation captain she could think of. There were quite a few Academy graduates who had known the man kidnapped by the Romulans, and had later become commanders of Starfleet and Federation civilian ships.

Civilian ships in the Federation were not as well armed as Starfleet ships. The phasers and photon torpedoes they had were usually 1 to 2 generations behind the current Starfleet technological developments. Also Federation Law prevented the ships from having more than 4 torpedo launchers, and a maximum of 250 photon torpedoes in their stocks. Of course, many civilian ships developed their own torpedoes, which was not exactly illegal but not encouraged either. A civilian ship that had to deal with Ferengi Opportunists (Pirates) would later develop a torpedo that would be the predecessor for quantum torpedoes. Many Civilian captains were retired Starfleet captains that got bored and needed something to do. So, they became Captains of civilian ships.

Admiral Nechayev ordered all the ships to gather in orbit around Earth. There were over 1000 ships; there were 250 Starfleet ships, and over 750 Federation Civilian ships. Galaxy Class, Nebula Class, Ambassador Class, Excelsior class, and Intrepid class were among the Starfleet ships. The Civilian ships had mostly older classes, such as the Excelsior class, Miranda class, Curie class, and mostly Constellation class ships were among their fleet. There were over 50 runabouts of an older type that were retired from service five years ago. She was surprised to see that someone had managed to obtain an old Constitution class starship. Then she read the name of the captain and smirked. She knew her ex-husband would be there. She would put him in charge of the Civilian fleets as he was well respected.

She met with the captains on her chosen ship, the USS Nova, a prototype vessel that had just been put into service. This fleet would be headed toward Romulus to demand that they return the Federation's most important citizen.

She put Captain Picard as her fleet captain. It seemed that he was the angriest out of all the captains. She had heard him swearing in French as they left the meeting. She would never admit this, but she thought the Captain was quite attractive, and he was even more attractive when he was angry.

She would come to find out that this was one of her best decisions. When their fleet approached the neutral zone, no less than twenty Romulan warbirds and forty Romulan cruisers greeted them. As soon as they saw how utterly ticked off Captain Picard was, they made way. It seems that an angry Picard is a terrifying Picard. That and the fact that he threatened to personally make sure their atoms were scattered across Romulan space.

When they reached Romulus, they were met by over 200 ships. Once again, they left when confronted with Picard. Of course this may have had to do with the threat he made to personally disembowel each of the Captains, while ensuring that they survived long enough to feel themselves being disemboweled. Needless to say, the Admiral was even more attracted to Captain Picard than she was before. Too bad he was a lower ranking officer and fraternization was forbidden. Ah well, maybe she should reconsider retirement?

Picard sent his demands to the Romulan Senate, which had no knowledge of the kidnapping, or so they claimed. It was the Tal Shiar that did the kidnapping and the Empress ordered the return of the Federation's most important citizen.

Upon beaming up their citizen, the fleet left, with a warning that next time, they would not be so forgiving. In fact, Picard told the Empress that he would personally deliver the guts of the Commanders in her fleet to turn in to garters. Secretly, this intrigued the Empress as she didn't know what garters were. As soon as she found out, she became attracted to Picard, because anyone with the confidence to make such a threat had to be strong enough to carry it out and Romulans respected that kind of strength.

The most important citizen in the Federation was safe aboard the Enterprise as they took him home to Earth.

And everyone cheered when Boothby was back at Starfleet Academy, safe and sound.

 **Remember this is a crack fic. It is partially based on the Episode of Voyager with Species 8472 when they built a Simulation of earth and Boothby was in charge. So, as you can tell, the premise of this story is the lengths Starfleet and the Federation would go to, to rescue Boothby. Yes, Picard is OOC, but this IS a crack fic.**


End file.
